To Thine Ownself be True

I do a lot of thinking. Maybe that's a good thing, or maybe a bad thing? Either way, Shakespeare came to mind with his infamous quote "To thine own self be true." And I decided to do just that.... to be true to myself.

In doing so, I realized one of my flaws. I am overly forgiving, and always think people are going to be what I want and hope they will be. In the end I always up end disappointed because I realize I live in a fantasy land and no matter how much I wish things were different they just aren't and will never be. To be true to myself I have realized I have no female best friend. I have thrown the word around before, but really, no girl understand what this means. My best friends in my life are my parents and Wesley. This would make me mad, but I am not bothered by it anymore. What's the point in trying I guess?

I am so proud of myself for deciding to go back to school. Even though I am just getting my Associates Degree right now I think I deserve props for working full time and then some, on top of going to school.... and still managing all A's. That just goes to show I have determination and really can do anything I put my mind to, again coming back to the theme of being true to myself.

My wedding is about 4 months away now. Hard to believe, but I am super excited. I vow to make Wes the happiest man alive and I want to take care of him forever. To know he is provided for and taken care of brings me so much joy and pleasure.

Tonight was Mrs.Cindy's 5 year sobriety celebration. I wish I could have been there with the family to support her and congratulate her on this tremendous acheivement, but I was there in spirit. (Mrs. Cindy, I am so proud of you, as we all are. You Go Girl!!!)

2009 is soon wrapping up. This has been a hard year. In the end I think I am a smarter, wiser, and stronger person. My experiences have etched another notch into life lessons learned.

I leave you with this..... in order to be happy, you need to be true to yourself. If you hide behind lies, or fantansies of "what if" then you will never fully reach your capability and potential of happiness. Realize that life is perfectly imperfect, and with that you will not stress as much.